Surprises
In the summer of 2001, at just age 15, Claire orchestrated a month-long linguistic immersion in the home of her same-age German pen pal Frederike Schwarz and family in Kiel, Germany. I had the pleasure of accompanying her there, first and foremost as her fatherly guardian, to vet Frederike’s father Rainer, mother Marianne, and brother Johannes in person (they passed my scrutiny with flying colors!).
Upon arriving at their beautiful Kiel home, Claire and I took quick jet lag naps, then feasted on the Schwarzes’ grilled-out lunch, during which they observed with eyes as big as saucers that Claire and I actually ate the skins of our baked potatoes! We assured them that it was not life-threatening to do so and proved it by continuing to breathe normally (made difficult by laughing) after swallowing.
Then, after lunch, it was Claire’s and my turn to be surprised. Our hosts proposed that “ve vill now go schvimming” at Laboe Beach 10 km northeast of Kiel on the Baltic Sea. It sounded fun, so Claire and I suited up in our furnished swimwear and headed off with the family to one of the 26 nearby (here’s the surprise part) nude beaches for 1) a swim (foreseen) and 2) Claire’s first immersive human anatomy lesson (unforeseen!). “Willkommen in Deutschland” waved the countless, diverse bared body parts to Claire’s (and, I confess, my) big-as-saucers eyes!
It probably hadn’t even occurred to the Schwarzes to advise us of this beach’s “undress” code because nudity at beaches was as commonplace for Germans as eating potato skins was for us Americans (not to equate nudity with baked potatoes in any way, although their common denominator here is skin). In any case, as swimwear was optional – not verboten – at Laboe Beach, Claire and I chose to remain suited up, as did the understanding Schwarzes. But sadly that day, swimming was not for the squeamish (especially the unclad squeamish) owing to an invasion of stinging jellyfish in the Baltic’s shallows.
Frederike’s Dad, Rainer, proved to be not only a gracious host, but a creative problem-solver as well. On his, Frederike’s, Claire’s, and my daytrip north to Denmark, we looked forward to touring Ribe’s renowned VikingeCenter, whose total entrance fee for two father-daughter pairs would have far exceeded that for one married couple with two daughters. Back in 2001, the solution would not have occurred to me, but it did to quick-thinking Rainer in forward-thinking Denmark: he and I became joined in thrifty, same-sex matrimony for the duration of our time at the VikingeCenter. Claire still thinks that he and I made a great couple.
In any case, when it became clear to me that Rainer and Marianne were not criminal sex traffickers masquerading as linguistic immersion hosts for American girls, I left Claire in their care and headed off to Austria to participate in training for in-patient sleep care at Innsbruck University Hospital. Claire thoroughly enjoyed her remaining time in Kiel, and – not surprisingly – has remained fast friends with Frederike, her brother Johannes, and Rainer and Marianne to the present day.
